I’m currently writing my book and plan to include a chapter about readings and Speople (spirit people.)  As you know, I don’t remember most of what takes place in readings so this chapter will in essence be written by peeps who have gotten a reading from me.

I am looking for clients to send me the story of their readings.  Just to be clear, I’m not looking for testimonials or reviews.  I’m asking for your story about your interactions with your Speople or a for a story about a reading with me that had a profound affect on you.

I will only use your first name unless you don’t want me to and in that case, I will use a pseudonym (please indicate or I will assume it’s ok to use your first name.  I’m expecting to be finished by Fall of 2012 so I’d like stories in no later than May 31.  Please send your story to submissions@gemmadeller.com .

Thank you in advance.  Have a magical day!

Ok so let’s talk about your “prayers being answered.”  And if prayer is too scary a word for you then let’s talk about asking your HP (higher power) for something.  I listened to an acquaintance bitching last week that she is trying to figure something out in her life and that she had been praying and praying and has been getting no response from her HP.

She went on and on and on and on and on about how much she is “asking God” for an answer yet “getting nothing, and what is God’s problem.”  I listened as the (one sided) conversation seemed to never end, finding myself daydreaming as she spoke.

Well here’s the thing, your  HP has well, all of eternity to listen (and a lot more patience than I.)  So you can keep going and going and going and going if you so choose and he/she/it/they (whatever you refer to your hp as) will just quietly and patiently keep listening.  But don’t complain that, “God didn’t answer me.”

NEWSFLASH… You are so busy yammering that you don’t stop to listen for an answer.  When you finally do stop,  you most likely just say Amen, Ashay or Peace out or something like that and then keep it moving through your busy day.  Epoch fail!

LISTEN UP PEEPS… A good communicator both speaks and listens.  If you’re always only talking when you pray (and otherwise for that matter) and never listening, it’s real simple, you will always get an answer but you won’t hear it.  So if you ask your HP, spirit guide(s), committee etc a question and you just want to prattle on, don’t complain don’t bitch about not getting answers but if you truly want an answer, then at some point…shut your pie hole and listen.  Your answer is always given.

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Thank you all so much for your beautiful words, prayers and support regarding my brother Vinny’s death.  It really meant a lot to me.  And thank you to those who have written in to say that I need to start writing again.  I definitely needed that message.

To be perfectly honest, the idea of writing has been anything but enticing to me and I admit that I am having a hard time writing this post right now. Reason being is that I always want to be honest with you guys so I couldn’t just come back and not say anything about Vinny, or the situation but at the same time, I’m not at all thrilled to rehash it.

Ya know it’s funny, you’d think with my being a medium and talking to dead peeps everyday for others, that death in my world would be relatively easy for me to deal with.  From a logical, higher place, I suppose maybe it is (and moreso if it’s a natural one.)  But truth be told, losing a loved one just straight up sucks.  Living in this physical world, we want them here physically.  Period end of story.  While it is somewhat comforting to know that we all go on in spirit after physical death, it’s hard for us to truly understand that concept.  It therefore does very little to quell the pain of not being able to interact with them physically any more, so like I said, for us, it sucks.

That being said, I am happy to say that Vinny made it safely to the other side.  My mother showed me that THEY have him.  I’m not going to lie, the road ahead for him will not be an easy one as he must still deal with all the issues he wanted to escape in this physical world.  I will keep sending him love and healing energy from this side to support him in his journey as I hope all of you will as well.

Suicide is not an easy subject and to be perfectly honest, I’m in the process myself of learning more about it from my guides.  I don’t ever believe in brushing things under the rug just because society considers them taboo or inappropriate to discuss.  So in perfect Gemma form, I’m going to talk about it.  Suicide is real.  I’ve already lost two peeps to it and many of us are affected by it and/or contemplate it on a daily basis, so let’s shine a light on it.

Ok, so from what I understand at this point (and when I get more info, I will share it) suicide is handled differently from natural death on the other side as it is considered a “breach of contract.”  See, when we decide to come into this physical existence, we make a contract with our self, our higher power and with others to come here for a certain amount of time, to do certain things, play certain roles to others etc.  Committing suicide is opting out of those contracts.  This not only affects the person who commits suicide, but many others as well. For every choice, there comes circumstances with it and the choice of suicide brings with it a slew of circumstances that are everything opposite from what many who make that choice are searching for.

I have spoken to many people who have contemplated suicide and common reasons they have given are:  They can’t deal with their situation or circumstances in life, they are tired and just want to be done already, they want peace in their lives and can’t find it, or a loved one has crossed over and they want to be with them because they can’t fathom life without them.  What I explain to them (as it has been explained to me) is that by ending their physical life, they are not in any way getting rid of the issues, pain, stress or anything else that has plagued them in their physical existence.  In fact, they are just adding more to their plate.  Not only will they still have to deal with all the issues they thought they were escaping, but on top of that, they will have to acknowledge and accept the pain they’ve caused their loved ones here in the physical world by ending their life.

Suicide is never the easy way out. To be brutally honest, for those that think that they will cross over, magically find peace, be reunited with those they lost and simply live happily ever after, it’s not like that, not at all.  Instead they go directly into a healing center (which we here would equate to something like a rehab facility) to allow them to work through stuff.  So while my mom absolutely showed me that she had Vinny in her arms when he crossed, he was brought immediately to the healing center where he will be for quite some time. He will have to work through all the issues he was trying to escape here and ultimately accept that he broke his contract with himself and with many others.

Once all of that work is done, he will be ready to watch his life review. (I will do a separate more detailed blog post about “life reviews,” because I feel they are way too important to cover in two lines.)  Most of us will have our “life review” upon crossing over but suicides are not ready to deal with them at that point.  So once he works through his issues, he will then be ready to have his review.  Once he has his review, he will come back to the physical plane (probably not in our life time – like I said, he has a long road ahead of him) to live out his contracts in another physical life.  I wish that I could say that it’s all good for him (and everyone else that chose suicide) but like I said before it is so not the easy way out.

LISTEN UP PEEPS – If you are someone who has lost someone to suicide, I’m so sorry for your loss and your pain and I thoroughly understand your anger.  Allow yourself whatever you need to get through it and send your loved one love and healing energy for their journey.

If you are someone who is contemplating suicide, please don’t.  I promise you it’s not the easy way out and issues won’t go away just because your physical life has.  You matter more than you know.  Please, reach out to someone right now and tell them you need help dealing with your troubles and if they don’t hear you, go to someone else.  If you feel like you have no one, see the info below.  What is shitty today may not be as bad tomorrow or the next day.  There is a solution.  Even if you can’t see that solution right now, someone else may be able to.  Please, ask for help.

(For my US peeps call) 1-800-273-8255

 (For my international peeps click) International Crisis Centers

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My brother Vinny died yesterday, very unexpectedly.  I am shocked, really sad and quite honestly numb as I haven’t fully processed it yet.  They are saying it was suicide.  The jury is still out on that for me and when I get clearer, I will call upon my Speeps for the truth.  In the meantime, like anyone else, I will mourn and grieve losing him.  This is the double edge sword of being a psychic medium, we don’t get a pass on our own grief and it sucks just as much to lose someone.

Many have reached out to me to ask me what they can do.  This is where prayer comes in.  There is nothing more powerful than when peeps come together in numbers and pray.  Praying for someone, whether they are here on earth or on the other side absolutely does help them on their journey.  That positive energy that is sent through prayer, is like fertilizer to a plant, it gives that extra boost. So I am asking you all to please take a moment to send loving energy to Vinny who is now back home.

Thank you!

Do you readily give your power away?

What does that even look like? You ask.

POWER TIP

Investing energy in stuff that isn’t yours; material things or drama situations.  Power struggling over “your desk” or “your computer” at work when you don’t even own the company.  Engaging in “3rd grade” he said, she said.  Trying to control someone because you are afraid they won’t love you or be with you.  Building walls or holding onto bitterness from your past that blind you to great opportunities in the present. Giving away personal power only to scramble to replace it with false power like objects (that sometimes don’t even belong to you.)

If so… STOP THE MADNESS!

Listen up peeps… Your power cannot ever be taken away by anything or anyone.  YOU (and only you) have to give it away.  EVERYTHING in your reality is a choice or the result of a choice that YOU made (or are making) or focusing your attention on.  If you are giving your power away, ask yourself, “What’s missing in my life that i’m trying to replace with false power?” Then give that very thing to yourself.  Take responsibility and be conscious and cautious of where YOU CHOOSE to put your energy and what YOU CHOOSE to give your focus to so that you can create the empowered reality that you want.

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In the spirit of Thanksgiving (putting aside historical atrocities) I give you my annual top 21 list; what I am most thankful for this year…

MY “21 THANKS” LIST

1. ME – For all that I am and all that I am yet to be.
2. JD – My son, my greatest accomplishment and teacher…for always being authentically you.
3. MY ANGEL GIRL – My love… You are everything.  You make me a better me.
4. CHRISSY – The big sis I always wanted and now I have.  For your unconditional love and support.
5. TRACY – Bestee – my “sistah from another mistah”- for being there through thick n thin.
6. LISHA – Other bff – dawgs for life, for laughter, love and loyalty.
7. G.I.Ps – (You know who you are) for knowing the real Gem and wanting me to be only that.
8. MOM – For heading up my committee of Speeps and continuing to be a huge force in my life from the other side.
9. CLIENTS – For allowing me to give my gifts every day.
10. SPIRITUAL GIFTS – For the ability to help and heal others.
11. HOME - For safety and warmth.
12. EDUCATION - Which allows me to share practically through writing, teaching, television and radio.
13. HEALTH – To be able.
14. SENSE OF HUMOR – To keep it light.
15. LAUGHTER & LOVE – (From others) for keeping me going in tuff times.
16. LAW OF ATTRACTION – Which allows me to create my reality and then recreate and then recreate again.
17. COMPASSION and EMPATHY - To be able to really understand and tap in.
18. ALL OF MY EXPERIENCES - For leading me perfectly up to right now.
19. FORGIVENESS – For allowing people (and myself) to change and either come back into my life or move on.
20. LIFE’S LESSONS – For spiritual growth and experience.
21. MY PURPOSE – For the fulfillment that makes me say everyday…IT’S GREAT TO BE GEM!!!

SO…What’s your 21?

HAPPY TURKEY DAY (or tofurky for all my veggie and vegan) PEEPS!!!

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“Gemma? 

Yes, this is she.

Ok this is it… This is that call.” 

I lost my breath and doubled over.

“Was it peaceful for her?”

Now shaking, my chest tightening by the second.

“Yes, very, she just seemed to go to sleep.”

I will never forget that phone call I received Monday, November 17, 2003, the day my mom died.  Even as I write this today, tears stream down my face and I go right back to that moment and right back to the last time we spoke.  I miss her…alot.

Now you’d think that with all the validation I get on a daily that we continue on after we die and with communicating with my mom (on the other side) all the time would make it easier.  You would think that being a medium I wouldn’t be affected as much as others by death.  But the simple truth is that I too live in this physical realm where we have physical communication and interaction with others.  So while I need to disconnect some when I read for others and rationally I know that someone transitioning from physical to spiritual for them is a beautiful thing, it still royally sucks and hurts like hell when it directly affects me.

MOM aka MARY

With that said, I am so grateful to have been blessed with the gift of communication between worlds and for the comfort and peace that it gives my clients and myself.  As I tell them, I can wholeheartedly assure you that there is more than just this life and this world.  Life doesn’t just end we actually continue on to our real life, we go home.

So the term “Lose someone,” is actually a really good way of putting it because they aren’t really gone, we just don’t have them here in the physical anymore, but I promise you THEY are still very much alive, travel with you and can still be a very big and active part of your life.

How you ask?  Talk to them, just like if they were here.  Ask them for things, for guidance and for advice.  And when you do, be sure to listen for the answer.  I can’t tell you how many times I hear, “But Gemma I talk to my dad all the time,” and then I ask, “But do you listen to what he has to say back,” SILENCE.  OOPSY.  Now keep in mind that it definitely takes a bit of practice to hear them or to recognize a sign or symbol they may use to communicate their answer to you, so try not to get discouraged or give up.

Think of it like this… None of us knew how to text 10 years ago but we quickly learned that new form of communication and now we can’t even fathom life without it.  Well, it’s the same thing with communicating with your Speople (spirit people) on the other side, so practice practice practice.  Ask them to bring you something or to show you a sign.  What do you have to lose for trying it?  Exactly, nothing, so give it a shot.

I know it’s not the same as actually having them here in physical form, but I hope it will at least help you (as it has me) to know that they aren’t gone and that you can still communicate with them in another way.  Now one more thing… when you do feel THEM around you, for goodness sake acknowledge them, say hi and let them know that you are aware of their presence. I mean seriously how would you feel if you came into a room and everyone ignored you?  Oh…which reminds me of the whole point to this post.  To shout out the most amazing woman I’ve ever known…

Mom…I’m thinking of you today on the anniversary of your journey Home eight years ago.  I love you and miss you (in the physical) terribly; your stories, your laugh, your wisdom, your constant unwavering, unconditional love.  I’m glad that we chose each other in this life as mother and daughter and that you still remain with me all the time and continue to be a very VERY active part of my life!  Thank you for the blessing that you were, are and will always be.

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“Wait, wait, wait… Lemme get this straight…You don’t have a day job Gemma?  And have no plan to get another one?  You meditate and work out and ‘read people’ and blog and call that work.  You don’t like to have a set schedule and you don’t really make plans. It sounds like a bunch of excuses to be lazy and irresponsible if you ask me.  There is only one way to get ahead…you have to work hard and bust your ass if you want to get anywhere in life?  My days are packed from morning until night.  I always have a plan.  In my world your “work” days are what I call vacation.”

“Are you happy?” I asked

“It’s not about happiness, it’s about getting ahead and your way will never make that happen.”

“So what your saying is that your way is valid and correct to advance and my way is just wrong and irresponsible so I won’t?” (I just wanted to make sure I was hearing right.)

“Yup”

Ummm… judgemental party of one, your table is ready!  WOW!!

This, by the way, was an actual conversation that a friend of an acquaintance of mine thought was appropriate to have with me this past weekend.  I was almost offended.

See peeps, I don’t think there is an absolute right or wrong per se.  There is just right or wrong for me, but that’s for me and only me to determine.  We are just 2 different people with 2 different perspectives living different lives.  Don’t judge mine.  If you are happy with your garden then you don’t need to tend mine.  Just because you don’t understand how i operate, doesn’t EVER give you the right to sit in judgment of me (or anyone else.)  I don’t like to clutter my life with having something to do every single second.  I like my life to be peaceful.  I take care of my business and do my work very thoroughly and efficiently. I like seeing what comes up and being spontaneous.  I don’t need a plan to make me feel valid.

You may like your life to be filled with something to do every second.  I could ask you why.  Why are you afraid to slow down? Why must you make yourself feel worthwhile with plans and activities?  Why are you tending my Garden? Well that’s what i could say if I wanted to judge you that is, but I don’t because I like my garden, so I don’t need to put yours down.  I’m too busy enjoying mine.  I have worked very hard to make my garden perfect for me.  I have carefully chosen everything in it.  And check it out, if you are busy tending mine then you must not like yours so much, so maybe you want to reconsider what you are choosing to put into it.

Ok maybe i was a little offended.  Listen, I’m no Dali Lama or Mother Theresa so the fact that she thought it was OK to impose her judgments on me straight up pissed me off.  Being judgmental in my book is almost as ugly as being self absorbed (so caught up in your own stuff that you don’t consider others – but that’s a whole other post.)

LISTEN UP PEEPS… Just because you think your way is right, doesn’t make someone elses wrong, that makes you judgmental.  Tend to your own garden and appreciate and respect others.  There is great beauty in diversity, find it and if you can’t then mind your business.  If you ever find that you are looking enviously over someones fence and hating on their garden or judging it, realize that it’s only because your garden is not what you want it to be, then start to make the changes to make it everything you want.

You are the master of your own creation…if you don’t like what you have created, don’t hate on those that do, take responsibility and change it up so that maybe one day you will be happy and content just being in yours.  And if someone is looking in your garden and judging it, know that they are only doing that because they are avoiding, and as a result, neglecting their own which is only going to make their weeding twice as long and hard.  Just ignore them and keep tending to yours.

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